Frak That! Ep. 74: ‘Mushroom Cloud’

Joe Wilcox asks self-defrocked Biblical scholar Randall Kennedy about Armageddon after Russia unveils its newest “planet-killing” nuclear missile, the Satan 2. “If it’s Putin, this is the man’s man. So if they’ve got something bigger. Longer. Maybe a little thicker than the American version, they’re going to show it off, Joe. They’re gonna hang that thing out there—just slap it in your face. Smack you around with it. ‘Hey, look, who’s the boss? Who’s your daddy?’”

Russia’s nuke is capable of destroying land the size of Texas, which Randall doesn’t see as all that bad an outcome. “Texas is an ugly state”, he says. Hello, Episode 74!

The podcasters agree that Satan 2 is meant to intimidate both presidential candidates—and Mr. Small Hands Trump easily could be. But if he is, Joe suggests, that would deflate one of Hillary Clinton’s major criticisms of her rival: That he would be loose with the nuclear football and let launch the missiles.

But Joe isn’t finished talking about Satan. “As a Biblical scholar, I’d like to ask you: Is there anywhere in the Book of Revelations or wherever else that indicates that the antichrist must be male? And if not, where on Hillary’s body would we look for the sign—the 666—of the Devil?” You’ll have to listen for Randall’s answer.

Some other topics, and, like Satan 2, tying into our theme “Mushroom Cloud”:

  • Microsoft’s new Surface computers (mushrooming prices)
  • Obamacare’s careless cost increases (more mushrooming prices)
  • Madonna’s oral reward to anyone voting for Clinton (rising ecstasy)
  • Hillary Clinton’s Mariachi 70th birthday party (dust cloud from dancing)
  • Japan’s prohibition against men dressed as women Cosplayers (mushrooming regulation)
  • AT&T’s grubbing $1 million payments from governments for customer metadata (nuclear deterrence)