Author: Joe Wilcox

  • Frak That! Ep. 74: ‘Mushroom Cloud’

    Frak That! Ep. 74: ‘Mushroom Cloud’

    Joe Wilcox asks self-defrocked Biblical scholar Randall Kennedy about Armageddon after Russia unveils its newest “planet-killing” nuclear missile, the Satan 2. “If it’s Putin, this is the man’s man. So if they’ve got something bigger. Longer. Maybe a little thicker than the American version, they’re going to show it off, Joe. They’re gonna hang that thing out there—just slap it in your face. Smack you around with it. ‘Hey, look, who’s the boss? Who’s your daddy?’”

    Russia’s nuke is capable of destroying land the size of Texas, which Randall doesn’t see as all that bad an outcome. “Texas is an ugly state”, he says. Hello, Episode 74! (more…)

  • Frak That! Ep. 73: ‘Mourning’

    Frak That! Ep. 73: ‘Mourning’

    Randall Kennedy says Apple cofounder Steve Jobs is rolling over in his grave: “This Cook guy, he’s a moron. My God, he’s destroying my company—my legacy”. That for forgetting iPod’s 15th birthday on Oct. 23, 2016. Randall and Joe Wilcox mourn Apple’s appalling negligence and more!

    Death of the Internet is yet something else about which to grieve, following the October 21st hack of webcams, baby cams, and other so-called Internet of Things devices that brought down major websites—Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr among them. Episode 73 is their epitaph. (more…)

  • Frak That! Ep. 72: ‘Clinton vs Trump’

    Frak That! Ep. 72: ‘Clinton vs Trump’

    Randall Kennedy and Joe Wilcox promise to discuss the third, and final, debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump at the start of Episode 72. But so disheartened are the two podcasters by the candidates, they banter on about other stuff for 20 minutes first. Like: Movies Brewster’s Millions and Looper; miniseries The Day After; TV shows Lethal Weapon and Timeless; cartoonist Scott Adams’ Periscope companion; Krispy Kreme’s crusty coffee; eating too much product at Pizza Hut; Hong Kong dreamin’; and attempted murder by falling glass panes.

    Oh yeah, then there’s the debate.  (more…)

  • Frak That! Ep. 71: ‘It’s About Time’

    Frak That! Ep. 71: ‘It’s About Time’

    Joe Wilcox presents Randall Kennedy with a poser: Would you go back in time and kill baby Hitler? He offers thoughtful answer about the unintended consequences and what they could be. “World War II never happens. Then maybe the atomic bomb is never invented. Maybe nuclear power is never created, or it’s created by the Brits, or a different Germany, or the Russians do it and they dominate the world…Israel probably never would have been formed as a nation…You pull one thread, and you unravel so many others”.

    Joe’s take is simpler: “You can’t go back in time to kill baby Hitler, because if he never existed you wouldn’t go back to kill him”.

    Time is a unifying theme in Episode 71, whether or not traveling through it. Joe talks about time and money wasted by terrorists buying Galaxy Note 7 to use as “weapons of mass destruction”. What he calls the “ISIS Crisis” now that the potentially exploding phones are banned by major airlines.  (more…)

  • Frak That! Ep. 70: ‘Kool-Aid’

    Frak That! Ep. 70: ‘Kool-Aid’

    Randall Kennedy accuses Joe Wilcox of drinking Apple Kool-Aid; he doesn’t disagree. Wikipedia defines “Drinking the Kool-Aid” as “a figure of speech commonly used in North America that refers to any person or group who knowingly goes along with a doomed or dangerous idea because of peer pressure”.

    The theme ties together other Episode 70 topics, such as Randall’s confession he would have saved more money buying products like iPad and iPhone rather than cheap alternatives. “I should just drink the Kool-Aid, like you do—chug the whole Gatorade pitcher down there but I don’t ”, Randall says.  (more…)

  • Frak That! Ep. 69: ‘American Apocalypse’

    Frak That! Ep. 69: ‘American Apocalypse’

    Joe Wilcox would rather vote for alien subjugators than either presidential candidate—hence Episode 69 title “American Apocalypse” for one of our funniest podcasts to date. Joe starts the episode by stepping back from the political arena and going to the musical/cultural stage: DesertTrip music festival, or as he tells Randall Kennedy, “Geezerpalooza”. The two-weekend, Indio, Calif. event—headlined by Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, and The Who—is meant for the over-50 set. But many attendees, and the performers, are in their Seventies.

    “There’s nothing worse than a mosh pit full of people with colostomy bags”, Randall interjects. “That’s got to be the most disgusting thought in the world”. He envisions a fleet of ambulances, with emergency doctors and heart surgeons onsite and on call.  (more…)

  • Well, Frak Us!

    Well, Frak Us!

    Phew. Doesn’t this suck rotten tomatoes. One of those ripe, juicy-looking ones that fills your mouth with saliva. You pull it to your mouth in anticipation of something sweet, then spit out something so putrid, you wrench and puke up your spicy Chinese lunch. Oh, it burns coming up.

    That’s how we’re feeling today after our webhost toasted our supposedly safe VPS server. Hey, we paid more for SSD storage because it was supposed to serve up delicious pages fast and be less susceptible to hard disk rot. But here we are, following the outage of Sept. 22, 2016, doing a reset.

    In rotten tomatoes comes opportunity. We were thinking to make over Frak That! anyways and archive the older posts, which were nothing more than collections of our tweets. Mixing metaphors, we’ve got amnesia and can’t remember the past. We’re starting fresh, like a baby born adult.

    Hallelujah, Praise be God of the Internet—whom we know these days to be Vladimir Putin. Just ask the Democratic National Committee or Hillary Clinton, who accuse Donald Trump of knelling before the Russian President’s altar and asking his blessing of the U.S. Presidency.

    Mmm, thinking of the Lord, maybe we don’t have amnesia. My God, Shirley McLane was right. Frak That! is reincarnated. Someone hit that great big redo button on the server, and we were reborn.

    But labor is a painful process. So watch our rebirth to unfold over a few weeks. If it takes too long for you, and surely it will for us, then Frak That!

    Photo Credit: Laura Lewis

  • His Supporters are EVERYWHERE

    His Supporters are EVERYWHERE

    Before the video appeared, The Donald thought #Reddit was a sound frogs make. http://goo.gl/DOogU1 #Trump2016

    #SonyPictures is suing, saying scientists stole idea from a #JamesBond film.  http://goo.gl/sMYp5N #DNAimaging

    What a movie audition! #FastAndFurious producers signed the men in jail hours later. http://goo.gl/2lkuos

    #Snapdeal legal delaying strategy works! Student gets free obsolete #iphone. http://goo.gl/GFBg8w

    New #Facebook commerce shop sure beats #Amazon. We’re getting a rocket launcher for 4th of July! http://goo.gl/D0HOXY #armsdealer

    Scientists lack common sense, #Tinder users find. http://goo.gl/lbmuNK #OccamsRazer #ShootTheMessenger

    Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore

  • Madonna Melts Down

    Madonna Melts Down

    You THINK? Only a vole wouldn’t be concerned. http://goo.gl/bBd4KE #MaterialGirl #BadParenting

    Analysts say the law will make #newyork a safe haven. http://goo.gl/qz6yq9 #TextingWhileWalking

    Visiting occupied stalls costs more; tip patrons when exiting! http://goo.gl/iT7v5L @LondonLooTours

    He was afraid of sex in the dark? #ThomasEdison lightbulb looks like a #condom. https://goo.gl/hFWLT0

    Have you ever laughed at a dead baby joke? We couldn’t at this.  http://goo.gl/QaH5kz  #SickButTrue

    An #Uber driver wouldn’t be so forgiving, nor Robert De Niro. #BangBang http://goo.gl/SosIQO #TaxiDriver

    “Syrupy is Cuban for “frak you!” http://goo.gl/4Ar4e3 #FidelRants #TellUsWhatYouReallyThink #Cuba

    #NoStringsAttached, we hope #Amazon “Thunderbirds A Go” goes nowhere. http://goo.gl/j7Fq4j #MarionetteMayhem